10 reasons to see the da vinci code

so i saw the da vinci code this past weekend and here's my top 10 reasons to see the movie.

10. gandalf. dude, gandalf is in the movie. that kicks ass. he did get a haircut and trimmed his beard but it's all good. he still kicks ass.

9. magneto. dude, i thought magneto doesn't come out on theaters until next weekend but he was totally in the movie. he was acting like a cripple though and living in the x-men mansion, but they called it a chateau or something instead, but i'm sure it was all a ploy to lure the x-men to their death.

8. remember that movie powder, yah that guy was in the movie too and he dressed like a jedi wearing his cloak and all, but instead of a light saber he used his bare hands to kick ass. awesome.

7. speaking of jedi's, the guy from the professional was in the movie. and the professional also starred natalie portman and she's hot. and she was queen amidala. so that alone is worth seeing the movie.

6. doctor octopus. i guess after getting his ass kicked by spider man, doc oct is hiding out as a high ranking priest. way to fool spidey! brilliant.

5. forrest gump. man, forrest learned to talk normal and he grew out his hair a bit. he also got a lot smarter from the last time we all saw him but still talks a lot of mumbo jumbo about symbols and stuff. he kicks ass in the movie.

4. the chick is hot. dude, she was french. even when she was angry, she was hot. i'd go watch the movie all over again just to see her for 2 1/2 hours. and the best part, with her strong accent, i couldn't even understand a word she was saying. that's hot.

3. knights templar. these guys were like samurais on steroids. they were the mafia back in the day protecting secrets and stuff. all the gangstas today ain't got nothing on these templars. that's why it took a bunch of priests to order their execution. these templars are second only to ninjas. and ninjas kick ass.

2. anagrams. anagrams are crazy. they rearrange a bunch of letters and forms other phrases for people to descramble and stuff. i'm going to start training in anagrams so everything i say and write won't mean what i mean because i'm anagramming everything. for example.... video can cure lids = da vinci code rules. sweet.

and the number one reason to watch the da vinci code....

1. I.M. fricken Pei! i waited throughout the whole credits and i knew they were going to mention thanks to the Louvre, but wondered if they were going to mention the architect. and low and behold, there was I.M. Pei's name. that right there, is worth the ten bucks and 2 hours i waited in line for. yeah.